ROBOEVA
by Mordamir
Summary: ROBOEVA the pilot of the future


Disclaimer: don't own EVA neither ROBOCOP, so don't bother me…

ROBOEVA

All was well in Tokyo 3, and as usual, the kids where training inside NERV. Since some psycho (Gendo) decided that then needed training outside the Evas so their performance in Eva would improve, Shinji, Rei, Asuka and Touji where practicing in the gallery shoot.

BLAM BLAM BLAM

Shinji: Oh man! I almost shot Rei…I really need to get some aim…

Asuka: You'd better! Or else I'll rip your "you know what" and use then as ammo!

Touji: ouch!

A complete roll of BLAMs after, Shinji was still a cross-eyed shooter, Asuka and Rei where competing (well, Asuka was) to see who was the better and Touji was just doing his part. Coming the end of the session, while the others were just putting their weapons on their holsters, Touji rolled his gun by the trigger with his index and then put it in the holster.

Asuka: Why the stupid fancy shows you Neanderthal?

Touji: Love you too Demon.

Asuka: GRRRRRR

Later, at the medical wind…

Shinji: You know Touji; you'd better do not get her that angry…

Touji: Yeah… hey, why are you here too?

Shinji: I tried to stop her from killing you. Still, you're way worse them me.

Touji: Feh… thanks man. Do you know when we'll be able to get out of here?

Shinji: I'm good already… let me see in your file…Wow, Why did you never said anything about your middle name?

Touji: Because it's stupid…

Shinji: Nah… Murphy is a nice name… Just like that guy from the laws…

Touji: Pfff… Touji Murphy Suzuhara… I don't like how it sounds… give me the creeps.

Shinji: Well, anyway, Asuka was right in something… why the trick with the gun?

Touji: He he… Kensuke said once while we watched a space police series that he liked that it's really cool when the protagonist did that… remembering it, I've decided to try… it is fun… and annoy the demon.

Shinji: Oh well, guess you really have some suicide tendencies after all…

Touji: Hey! And don't you have too?

Shinji: Right, to be an EVA pilot you need to be suicide. Talking bout EVA… When will be your test with Unit 3?

Touji: Brrr, don't even remember me bout it! I'm wetting my pants just imagining how it will be. Anyway, it will be on Monday.

Shinji: Right… well Touji… I need to get going, today it's my turn do make super (as always) and if I don't have it done until 7:00 pm, Asuka will send me back here in worse shape. Farewell Murphy.

Touji: @$#%$%&!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Six weeks after the 13th's angel attack, the kids, minus Touji, where practicing in the gallery shoot again. Shinji was way better than before; he could even hit a target this time. The girls were doing well as always. Suddenly, different shoot sounds were heard.

TR x 4 (minus one target severed in half)

TR x 4 (another)

TR x 4 (and other)

TR x 4 (you got the idea)

Shinji went to see what's going on and after passing Asuka and even Rei he saw a tall man (or was it a machine?) covered in a bluish and black armor leaving only his mouth appear. Said man was shooting the targets with a pistol that seemed more like a mini machine gun with only one hand.

Shinji: Wow…

Asuka: You can say that again.

Shinji: Wow…

Asuka: Baka! It was just a figurative speech.

Shinji: Sorry.

And as Shinji nursed his now bruised skull, courtesy of Asuka's whack, he saw something intriguing, at the end of the shooting round, before exiting the gallery, the armored man has done the roll gun trick, just like Touji.

Shinji: It cannot be…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later, the pilots were recruited in the EVA cages, and that guy was there too. Then, in his favorite window, Gendo appeared to give his orders or just say whatever he wanted, as usual.

Gendo: Pilots, I would like you to meet our new pilot, ROBOEVA, the pilot of the future.

Behind him Misato whispered to Makoto.

Misato: Who would create such a corny slogan, as well as design a machine like that?

Ritsuko: That would be me Misato, you see… after Touji was nearly killed in that angel attack, we saw on him the perfect volunteer for a bold and advanced project to create the perfect pilot, we just needed to put him in a life container armor and replace his lost limbs with mechanical ones.

Misato: And why the bullet proof and stuff?

Ritsuko: Well, part of the project was designed by that OCP organization… and they only agreed to let us use it if we let them use ROBOEVA as a cop too…

Misato: god in heaven… where the hell am I? 

After Gendo said his ideas to the pilots (which are not relevant to us), Shinji tried to make conversation with ROBOEVA.

Shinji: Err… ROBOEVA, that's a cool name but isn't there another way to call you, I mean, this is a little too cold…

ROBOEVA: Call me Murphy.

And as Shinji thought where he has heard that name before, Murphy started to go away.

Asuka: Hey metal ass! Where do you think you're going?

Murphy: Somewhere there's an angel-approaching… demon.

Shinji: Oh well, now I know where I've heard this before… Rei, help me take Touji to the medical center… or would it be better to take him into a mechanical repair center? 

Rei: …

Author's notes:  Yeah, I know, it's extremely stupid, but I had to write it anyway, besides, I think it's funny.


End file.
